wwsdd

Almost every single decision I make has a new motto, “wwsdd”.

A moral compass. We all have one within us and it’s all relative.  Many of us have so many in the form of friends, family, partners.  It is that first person you call when something evolves, whether it is good or bad, stressful, exciting or just as simple as what to eat for dinner. It’s the one who helps you solve the world’s dilemmas or whether or not those pants make you look fat (girl trap).

Mine were gone. Both of them. (Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t do anything illegal)

At first, I panicked. My muse is gone. Who can I call at first panic or rejoice.  It used to be in the form of a live open verbal dialogue with Steve.  He was always there, putting me in check with his impeccably perfect moral compass which was fueled by magnetism towards compassion and logic (aka stubbornness). Theoretically, compasses aren’t supposed to break unless they get beat up too much. I guess with all the recent pain, my compass felt very broken and beat down.   Finality hit me and I thought it was gone for good.  I felt very lost.

However, I woke up the other day realizing that my compass still works.  And, even better, that Steve is still magnetizing the core of my earth. After a little reflection, I realized that in almost every single situation, I’ve been thinking “What would Steve Dickter do?”  And the answer is always an attempt on being moral. Moral in my eyes, at least. It tries to be strong, compassionate, kind, loving, empathetic, smart and sometimes funny. (Although I’m not sure I could be as smart or funny as Steve.)

He is not lost from me. He gave me something larger than life. He changed me and molded me. And, he did it completely without effort or knowing because he was just a fuckin’ amazing human being. He gave me a gift that is irreplaceable and something you cannot buy.  A mighty everlasting moral compass, it’s that simple.

My compass has a new engraving that will be with me forever “wwsdd”.

p.s. (And, yes sometimes I will mess up, but it’ll be a ‘learning experience’.)