Things have been a lil off lately. My mind jumps around, wandering off to dark places and then quickly retreating into a realm of appreciation and gratitude. Appreciation for family, friends, love, my health, work and just the little things like a good home cooked meal, a soft bed or a minute to close my eyes and rest.
But yesterday I was upset. Mad that cancer had stricken my house. I was mad at myself for being mad. I know so many others that seem to hold the principle of “you can’t worry about things you can’t control”. I wondered if they always felt this way or did they have moments where the lil bit of anger crept into their mind and tried to attack their positive thoughts. But of course I then felt so guilty for holding onto contempt for something. What was the point of bringing myself down. And, as always, I reminded myself that these are all normal emotions and it’s ok to feel this way.
I thought about how this whole experience has helped me to appreciate the everyday details. Details like the sun, blue skies, gray skies, children playing in the water, smells of spring, just going for a walk with my husband, noticing buildings unseen while driving, talking (not IM each other while in the same room), my mom, his mom, my grandma, family, friends, a good cup of coffee… you get the point.
Now don’t ask how these pictures relate at all to my words, except for when I look at them it takes any bit of negative feelings I have away. It reminds me of how precious life is and how every day should be cherished. Plus I can’t blog without a picture.
Don’t worry, I’m not going crazy…yet. Just a hiccup in the day.
xo
