jenberry photo blog » landscape

Once I…

admin — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 03:23:54 +0000

I read someone’s twitter yesterday that every minute is exactly 1 year from that minute last year, so make every moment count and stop making only yearly resolutions.

No resolutions here.

I know what you’re thinking, Yeah right, Jen is completely and constantly motivated. Always living each day to the fullest and doesn’t need to set goals. I think not. And, yes I know you’re not thinking that, au contraire…. Instead, you’re really thinking, bah humbug, ms negativity. And, you’re right.

Around here, things don’t exactly run like a daily Tony Robbins Seminar. A typical DickBerry (yes that’s our hollywood mash up name combo of dickter/berry) day changes on a moments notice or a good night’s sleep. Accomplishments are either determined by the simple question of ‘what should we do today’ or based on a physical feeling… waking up in a good mood, aka “motivated” or a bad mood, dreadfully “lazy”.

I don’t want to be self righteous or wordy in this post. I want to say that 2009 basically sucked on some levels. But, simultaneously, it was a a year of evolution for Steve and I. Marriage, shifts in sentiments about careers, connections with amazing people. Throughout last year “once i…” was phrase that engulfed our vocabulary. Once I beat Cancer. Once I finish this commercial. Once I get through October 1st. Once January 1st, 2010 arrives and Steve is better. Once 2009 is over we’ll be able to have small talk with people. Once I have time I’ll blog.

For some reason in 2009, a year became important. We set a date for January 1, 2010 for the big transition back to normalcy. Well yesterday (in case you didn’t know) that date came. And, although Steve is cancer free right now, he’s not 100 percent. I know healing will come in one way or another. And if it doesn’t we will adapt, because what’s the alternative. And, what is normalcy. There is no one on this earth that lives without heartache; without sickness; without death. We are not immune. We are not special.

Well then the question arises of Why should I write a New Years Post then? The answer is… I had a good nights sleep. not really.

Think of it more as a reality check. Resolution, by very definition is a decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner. I don’t need January 1st to change the way I behave or some catastrophic event to stop the cycle of “once I…”. The year of 2009 was difficult. But it was also a year of realization that making a decision to “behave in a certain manner” doesn’t need to come from a date or a specific incident. The origins of change can occur in an instant; to anyone. And the change doesn’t need to be gigantic or socially impressive. It just needs to be true. True to your soul. True to your existence. It can be as small as waking up 2 minutes earlier and just staring outside to appreciate a cloud, a leaf, a beam of light. Or it can encompass an effort to treat others with respect. To make mends with someone lost. To reach out to someone who is broken. To put yourself others shoes, empathy.

Upon reflection, the lack of living in the moment and focusing on the future was a necessary survival for 2009. It allowed us to internally focus; to keep a clear head. It brought us introspection and appreciation for simplicity. It made us realize that having each other is priceless. It made us realize that we aren’t alone. We have incredible families and friends (true friends, people that call, write, send us cards, make time for a cup of coffee or wine). Yes we have goals. Yes they have changed and maybe for the best. Who knows. We are still trying to make sense of our experience. So much is out of our hands. What we can control is appreciation. Instead it is now, carpe momentum.

“keep dreaming!!! keep seeing the big picture and the beautiful little details of life along the way!!!

from my friend Ray who is a fighter and so courageous

under siege

admin — Fri, 29 May 2009 23:38:23 +0000

Avoiding people. Hum, probably not the easiest or smartest thing to do when you actually need people to photograph them. Unfortunately, as of late, we’ve been on lock down; a bit of hiding whilst awaiting the sneak attack of germs (steve’s story here in case you’re wondering what the heck I’m talking about and if I’ve lost my mind… which i have). I’ve been a little frozen on picture taking, overcome with stupor and lassitude. I hear a tiny voice of me attempting to break free and pick up my camera once again.

This little silent nagging popped out of hiding today. And, as all proper optimists and supportive lil wives say, “there’s always a silver lining in every cloud”. Due to current, totally messed up circumstances, I’ve actually started to notice little things around the house that fell into the dark abyss that fermented during our “normal” lives. Little things that I passed by without even a first glance. Today I picked up the camera and went on a little hunt. I found this on my balcony.

day trippin’ | the salton sea

admin — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 06:01:43 +0000

Lost shoes, “beer and burgers” (‘restaurant’ that specializes in mexican food/pizza/fried aspargus), dead salt crystallized fish, in n out, homemade cookies, great people, nonstop laughs, sharing, experimenting, mentoring, falling in quick sand, shootsacs galore, equality for all (canon and nikon), strobes, more food, unknown smells…

These words are a lame attempt to summarize a day on the “town”, with fellow bschool photographers.

Tuesday, I carpooled out to “California’s Crown Jewel of Avian Biodiversity” (according to the .gov website), The Salton Sea with 3 other photographers, Jenny Smith, Heidi Ryder, and Kevin Wynn. I’m sure I talked their heads off all the way out and all the way back. But, as is the nature of the bschool, these 3 were up for answering my mundane questions and chatting about the one of the things we all love, photography. Once we arrived, we met about 2 dozen other bschoolers and continued the day gabbing, posing, experiment and shooting.

Personally, I spent the day trying not to “shoot” people. Weird, right? I know a weakness of mine lies in landscapes and inanimate objects, so i forced myself to avoid putting live things (hence the dead fish) on camera.

Many thanks to [b]ecker for creating an environment that breeds “pay it forward” (i’m totally cheesy, i know) & Joe Photo for spear heading these outings.

Here are a few shots from the day:

ok 2 people, but they are silhouette (matthew saville with camera)

Here are some of the other photographers that joined us out there, besides the 4 in our car (previously mentioned), so you can see their perspectives:

more to come…

california turning of the skies

admin — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 06:38:54 +0000

even though we don’t have the turning of the leaves in los angeles, we kinda happen to have our own lil nature shift. there’s something pretty spectacular about the fall sunsets in california. the only downside is the 15 minute time constraint, wish they were a tiny bit longer… like 2 hours.

50 day count down to continuous hawaiian sunsets like this. although can’t say the sunsets in california are any less amazing.

**small technical note for photographers, there are SOOC, just a lil sharpening. in camera exposure.