I read someone’s twitter yesterday that every minute is exactly 1 year from that minute last year, so make every moment count and stop making only yearly resolutions.
No resolutions here.
I know what you’re thinking, Yeah right, Jen is completely and constantly motivated. Always living each day to the fullest and doesn’t need to set goals. I think not. And, yes I know you’re not thinking that, au contraire…. Instead, you’re really thinking, bah humbug, ms negativity. And, you’re right.
Around here, things don’t exactly run like a daily Tony Robbins Seminar. A typical DickBerry (yes that’s our hollywood mash up name combo of dickter/berry) day changes on a moments notice or a good night’s sleep. Accomplishments are either determined by the simple question of ‘what should we do today’ or based on a physical feeling… waking up in a good mood, aka “motivated” or a bad mood, dreadfully “lazy”.
I don’t want to be self righteous or wordy in this post. I want to say that 2009 basically sucked on some levels. But, simultaneously, it was a a year of evolution for Steve and I. Marriage, shifts in sentiments about careers, connections with amazing people. Throughout last year “once i…” was phrase that engulfed our vocabulary. Once I beat Cancer. Once I finish this commercial. Once I get through October 1st. Once January 1st, 2010 arrives and Steve is better. Once 2009 is over we’ll be able to have small talk with people. Once I have time I’ll blog.
For some reason in 2009, a year became important. We set a date for January 1, 2010 for the big transition back to normalcy. Well yesterday (in case you didn’t know) that date came. And, although Steve is cancer free right now, he’s not 100 percent. I know healing will come in one way or another. And if it doesn’t we will adapt, because what’s the alternative. And, what is normalcy. There is no one on this earth that lives without heartache; without sickness; without death. We are not immune. We are not special.
Well then the question arises of Why should I write a New Years Post then? The answer is… I had a good nights sleep. not really.
Think of it more as a reality check. Resolution, by very definition is a decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner. I don’t need January 1st to change the way I behave or some catastrophic event to stop the cycle of “once I…”. The year of 2009 was difficult. But it was also a year of realization that making a decision to “behave in a certain manner” doesn’t need to come from a date or a specific incident. The origins of change can occur in an instant; to anyone. And the change doesn’t need to be gigantic or socially impressive. It just needs to be true. True to your soul. True to your existence. It can be as small as waking up 2 minutes earlier and just staring outside to appreciate a cloud, a leaf, a beam of light. Or it can encompass an effort to treat others with respect. To make mends with someone lost. To reach out to someone who is broken. To put yourself others shoes, empathy.
Upon reflection, the lack of living in the moment and focusing on the future was a necessary survival for 2009. It allowed us to internally focus; to keep a clear head. It brought us introspection and appreciation for simplicity. It made us realize that having each other is priceless. It made us realize that we aren’t alone. We have incredible families and friends (true friends, people that call, write, send us cards, make time for a cup of coffee or wine). Yes we have goals. Yes they have changed and maybe for the best. Who knows. We are still trying to make sense of our experience. So much is out of our hands. What we can control is appreciation. Instead it is now, carpe momentum.
“keep dreaming!!! keep seeing the big picture and the beautiful little details of life along the way!!!
from my friend Ray who is a fighter and so courageous